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Sunday, February 08, 2009

CD Review: Seizure Crypt - Under the Gun

Seizure Crypt - Under the Gun
2008 Bad Elephant Productions
Ray Van Horn, Jr.

Can I just go ahead and say it now? After two albums, New York's Seizure Crypt are fucking nuts...

Of course their attitude of unapologetic hardcore psychopathy is certainly what the doctor ordered when this style of music has mostly lost its identity. Do you get the feeling Seizure Crypt's reason for being is to mug it up purposefully as a direct protest?

Though it's highly unlikely Seizure Crypt will become kings of the punk rawk jet-setting scene, their home is right where it's supposed to be: stuffed onto miniscule stages with barely any clearance of the air ducts and heating pipes with a crowded throng of locals going berserk to Seizure Crypt's blazing gun punk for the spasmatically insane.

Seizure Crypt have nothing to do with youth crew nor do they take a stance in favor of anything, other than busting their dripping nads in a generally unforgiving hardcore underground. Likely these guys have worn more beer than consumed it playing in cramped quarters with a bunch of sweathogs dogpiling each other in response to Seizure Crypt's old-fashioned knockabout hardcore.

This is the style of hardcore today's generation is afraid to play since it's more fashionable to ply to an artificial unity scene mandated by the junkie format soundtrack of verse-chorus-breakdown. Seizure Crypt is closer to Cryptic Slaughter, Crumbsuckers and The Meatmen, all names swept into hardcore oblivion along with Black Market Baby and Adrenalin OD. Seizure Crypt, for all of their undisciplined rowdiness, would've easily scored a spot on the classic Flipside magazine compilations from the eighties for their mere chutzpah alone.

Zipping out ridiculous and sarcastic ditties like "The Last Icon," "No Room Left to Bleed," "Crazy Cat Lady" (reportedly based on bassist Brian "Bro Town" Kaminski's experience living with an old bat who housed 60 felines) and the sick 'n twisted hilarity of "When You Die (They Throw Yer Stuff Out)," the bopping pace of Under the Gun is like trying to keep up with a masturbation addict.

The preposterous yet hilarious woofing vocals of Mike SOS and Tom are enough to test most folks' patience, but their tradeoff yowls are literal ravings that provoke more than a chuckle or two along the way.

Under the Gun wraps its business in a little over 20 minutes, which is just enough time to get your laugh on as well take a few stagedives off your deck as practice for the real event. What Seizure Crypt does is hardly pretty, but it's the exact kind of knucklehead mayhem hardcore has been sorely lacking since the days of Suicidal Tendencies' "I Saw Your Mommy" and the Circle Jerks' "World Up My Ass." The left-for-dead cedar coffeetable in your attic has more polish than Seizure Crypt, but it's nowhere near as fun.

Rating: ***1/2


Metal Mark said...

I got this one, but have not played it yet.

Ray Van Horn, Jr. said...

it's absolutely nuts, but fun...was talking with Tom at MySpace briefly...seems like a cool cat and these guys seem to be most into preserving their scene

Etan said...

Mike SOS has another band called (duh) SOS with a new album out, too. More of a hard rock feel than Seizure Crypt but equally homegrown. I THINK I approve...

Viagra Online said...

Excellent image, that's perfect seeing those men having that crazy moment, that's what I like of being a rock star.

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