The Metal Minute Awarded 2009 Best Personal Blog By Metal Hammer Magazine

Sunday, December 27, 2009

The Metal Minute's 2009 Up to the Minute Awards

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand here we are once again, faithful readers, the unconventional, less-than-cool, but straight-from-the-heart second annual Up to the Minute Awards. No preamble needed, no kettle drum pomp and circumstance to be found. Your host of the festivities presents these illuminous bestowments from the courtesy of his flannel pants and Mouth of the Architect shirt that was slept in the night prior. The after party is in each and every one of your basements or main listening stables, and with that, let's pay homage to the late, great Jackie Gleason...

Aaaaannnd aaaaaawaaayyyyyyy weeeeeeee goooooooooooooooooo!

Best Metal Album of 2009:

Mastodon - Crack the Skye

Best DVDs:

Iron Maiden - Flight 666
Thin Lizzy - Are You Ready?
Voivod - Tatsumaki: Japan, 2009
Woodstock 40th anniversary edition
Dee Dee Ramone - History On My Arms
ZZ Top - Double Down Live: 1980 & 2008
The Moody Blues - Threshold of a Dream: Live at the Isle of Wight Festival

In the Welcome Back Kotter Club for 2009

Ace Frehley
Living Colour

Torturer's Choice aka Worst Song of the Year (and coincidentally, Parental-Chosen Worst Role Model)

"Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus

Most Juvenile Song You Still Can't Avoid Singing

"Pussy" by Rammstein

Cha-Ching My Bling-Bling Sellout Award:

Black Eyed Peas

Favorite Non-Metal Album of 2009:

Depeche Mode - Sounds of the Universe
Air - Love 2
Calder Quartet - Transfiguration
The Mars Volta - Octahedron

Metal Meltdown Award:

Megadeth - Endgame

Still the Champeens of Thrash After All These Years


Since There's No New Opeth Album This Year, The Gothiest of the Goth Album

My Dying Bride - For Lies I Sire

Though We Were All Rooting for it to Be Heaven and Hell, The Doom Masters Award Goes Elsewhere...

Candlemass - Death Magic Doom

Trimming the Fat and Proving Prog Metal Can Be Something Less of a Wankfest

Dream Theater - Black Clouds and Silver Linings

Sludge-O-Matic Fun Fiesta of the Year

Kylesa - Static Tensions

The Holy Shit, These Guys Are Swimming in a Topographical Ocean Award

Between the Buried and Me

Black Metal as Alt-Art:

Brown Jenkins - Death Obsessed

Ding-a-Ding-Dang-My-Dang-a-Long Death Grind

The Black Dahlia Murder - Deflorate

Best Reissues

Subhumans entire back catalog
Halloween III: Season of the Witch soundtrack
King Diamond - The Spider's Lullaby
The Ocean - Fluxion

Coolest Metal Album Cover I Should've Voted For

Wolfmother - Cosmic Egg

Can't Believe it Didn't Reek:

Kiss - Sonic Boom

Space Groovin' Good Time Sing-a-Long Album of the Year

Powerman 5000 - Somewhere On the Other Side of Nowhere

Album from 2008 I'd Wished I'd Discovered Last Year Instead of This One:

Gonin-Ish - Naishiyo-Sekai

Most Metal Moment of 2009 by a Non-Metal Artist

Lady Ga Ga's bloody performance at the 2009 VMA's

Most Un-Metal Moment of 2009

The Dancing With the Stars orchestra playing Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It" Oh, the humanity!!!

The Screw You Guys, I'll Do What I Like Album Award

Ian Gillan - One Eye to Morocco

Jingle Bells With Some Amp, Or Who Saw that One Coming this Holiday Season?

Halford III - Winter Songs

For the Honor:

Ross the Boss
Doro Pesch
Udo Dirkschneider

All Guts, No Glory

Mary Forsberg Weiland for her candid book Fall to Pieces, and her studies to be a rehab counselor

Most Cosmic Live Performance

Pelican and Isis

The First Great Metal Albums of 2010 (Already):

Sigh - Scenes From Hell
Overkill - Ironbound
Ihsahn - After

Best Franchise Reboot

Star Trek

Most Fucked-Up Film to Light a Doobie To


Cult Movie of the Year


Mainstream Metal Tube to Beat Now that Talking Metal is Relegated to Podcasting

That Metal Show

Best 'Toons

Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Metalocalypse: Dethklok
Spongebob Squarepants

Not Dissing the Talent, But Sorry Dude, You're Not Muhammad Ali

Chad Johnson, aka Chad "Ochocinco"

Most Feelgood Stories of 2009

New Orleans Saints

The Great Big Ball of Suck

The Quickening Demise of Your Favorite Record Store, deathstroke provided by iPod

Still the Hottest Celeb in All of Hollywood

Jane Seymour

Ray's Craziest Interview of 2009

Lita Ford and Jim Gillette

Curtain Call, Please

System of a Down

The Band to Carry Metal Into the Future


Quite Possibly the Next Big Thing in Metal

Age of Evil

In Our Prayers

Ronnie James Dio


Metal Mark said...

At War and Artillery both put out better comeback albums than Whiplash.

I am with you on Slayer and Jane Seymour.

I'd put Udo and Blackie Lawless in For the honor section over Doro or Ross the boss.

How about I give KISS-Sonic Boom the "I can't believe Ray paid money for this CD award". I have heard mostly decent things about the new KISS, but just hate the idea of spending money on it so I skipped it.

Of course I loved the new Trek film, but also like that Trek, Bond and Batman have all new life pumped into them in the last few years. It gives hope to the possibilities that other older characters can be revived if done correctly.

Ray Van Horn, Jr. said...

You won me over on Udo and WASP, because I tricked myself thinking Babylon doesn't officially come out until 2010 or I would've voted it immediately...I remember now it was 2009, so those two have been added to "For the Honor." Good persuasion there.

I only bought Kiss so I could keep current. Seriously, I walked by it a thousand times until I realized I ought to know what's going on. Could've been worse.

Bond and Batman were last year, so that's why they weren't here, but Daniel Craig is flippin' awesome and I loved The Dark Knight as well, ye bang

Metal Mark said...

Oh and album of 2009 that you probably didn't hear, but really need to is Admiral Browning's Magic Elixar. Incredible stoner/doom instrumental EP. Everyone should hear this one. Just an overwhelmingly heavy album that will beat you senseless and have you begging for more.

Ray Van Horn, Jr. said...

lol, I know, you've been on my ass all year about this one...those guys should hire you for pr

Metal Mark said...

That's only because they really are that good.

Oh and when did "keeping current" involve hearing a new release from KISS? Probably at least thirty years ago would be my guess.

Ray Van Horn, Jr. said...

you've been quite the snippety one these days, Mark... I think you've been hanging around Bob too long since you both love to try and start shit lately, lol

bob_vinyl said...

Awesome! I love that you dis Mark by comparing him to me!

Two changes I'd make:

I'd give Ochocinco the "Keeping the NFL interesting award!" Now that he's playing well, I really enjoy his shenanigans. Plus, he showed that he knew how to do the right thing the week after Chris Henry died.

Also, I'd modify your iPod award to say that it's killing the bad record stores. R&TT hasn't been the same since they were bought out. They've become another corporate store. Good record stores are doing fine as music fans still go there. Meanwhile iTunes gives casual music fans what they want. It's really not a bad situation.

Metal Mark said...

It's a crack on KISS not you Ray.

Although it's not like anything I say makes KISS look sillier than they already do. They have managed to make themsekves into a joke over the years and continue to do so.

Metal Mark said...

Oh and if I am snippety it's come from dealing with comments from wackos over at my site rather than being around Bob. I am used to Bob. I guess I am used to comments from loons at my site too, but it's still fun to rile them up from time to time.

bob_vinyl said...

Ahhh, and you've become quite good at it too! I appreciate that you occasionally let me share in the fun.

Metal Mark said...

No problem. Share the wealth I say. At one point I had considered quoting some of the comments I have received at the top of my blog. I even thought about putting something like "here is what people are saying about Metal Mark" and then listing some of the things I have been called by all of these brilliant and thoughtful fans.

bob_vinyl said...

That would be a great idea, Mark. You have so many to choose from.

Ray Van Horn, Jr. said...

actually, Mark, you should do that...I've had one resident psycho drop in from time-to-time who could use a life, which is kind of my point to all the useless slamming at people's sites, actually, but I'm not going to take it any further than that

Bob, out of respect for Chris Henry, I'll leave my Chad Johnson opinions at this site relegated strictly to the "award" given here...if anything, Cincy worked very hard this season and have to deal with a horrible blow nobody should have to face

Anonymous said...


private amateure


Anonymous said...

burning bhuj this jessie obligated printers focal deepti embarrassing trick disclosures
servimundos melifermuly

Anonymous said...

medieval popular recently group clinic item stocked evans constab copied edutosununr
servimundos melifermuly